Nunoire

NOTE: This blog post contains sexually explicit material and should not be read by minors without parental consent. This is real talk.

In a previous post I discussed how AIDS became a black woman’s disease. In this post I propose changes that black women must make to protect themselves from HIV infection.

The ‘A’ in AIDS stands for ‘acquired’. That means that you have to do something to become infected. Therefore, AIDS infection is entirely voluntary and can be prevented by making mental and behavioral changes.

Mental Changes

Here are the mental changes that black women need to make (written in the first person for effect):

• I Am Valuable: I have infinite worth as a human being. My destiny is so much greater than to die the long, slow, painful death of AIDS.
• I Will Educate Myself: I will learn everything that I can about HIV/AIDs. I will use the library, the Internet, and any other resource to become an expert about the disease. I will use this education to help other black women who remain ignorant about this disease that is dramatically killing us.
• I Will Assume a Sexual Partner is Infected Until Proven Otherwise: I will assume that this person who wants to have sex with me is infected until I receive a negative HIV test result. This person may not be infected, but I will act as if he is and protect myself. I will also remember that it can take months for the antibodies that signify HIV infection to show up in enough numbers to be detectable.

Behavioral Changes

To be blunt, the vast majority of black women get AIDS by exposure to semen after being penetrated (vaginally or anally) by a man’s penis. While this type of sexual activity has a high degree of pleasure, it has to be weighed in late of the risk of HIV infection and the availability of other options. The following is an assessment of these options

Unprotected Anal Receptive Penetration
Description: The man penetrates the woman’s rectum with his penis.
Risk of HIV Infection: Extremely High
Recommendation: Although very pleasurable and exciting for a man due to the taboo nature of this activity, this should be avoided unless you are sure (via a negative AIDS test and several months of abstinence from the man) that the man is not infected. If you want to become HIV infected, then this is the best way to do so.

Unprotected Vaginal Receptive Penetration
Description: The man penetrates the woman’s vagina with his penis.
Risk of HIV Infection: Extremely High
Recommendation: Although very pleasurable for both partners, this should be avoided unless you are sure (via a negative AIDS test and several months of abstinence from the man) that the man is not infected.

Unprotected Male Receptive Oral Sex
Description: The woman stimulates the man’s penis with her mouth and tongue.
Risk of HIV Infection: Moderate
Recommendation: Since the AIDS virus is present in semen, it can be transmitted if the man ejaculates into the woman’s mouth. Therefore, this should be avoided unless you are sure (via a negative AIDS test and several months of abstinence from the man) that the man is not infected.

Unprotected Female Receptive Oral Sex
Description: The man stimulates the woman’s vagina with his mouth and tongue.
Risk of HIV Infection: Low
Recommendation: While the AIDS virus can be found in the saliva of an infected individual, the risk of transmission during this type of sexual activity is low. This is probably the safest form of sex that includes body fluid contact. However, this should be avoided unless you are sure (via a negative AIDS test and several months of abstinence from the man) that the man is not infected.

Protected Anal/Vaginal/Oral Sex
Description: A latex condom is used during all forms of penetrative anal/vaginal/oral sexual contact and activity.
Risk of HIV Infection: Very Low
Recommendation: If you are going to be sexually active, then you need to use latex condoms. While some sexually transmitted diseases (such as genital herpes and genital warts) infect the area of skin not protected by latex condoms, they are offer good protection against HIV transmission. However, the latex condom must be used at all times.

Non-Penetrative Sex (aka outercourse or dry sex or dry humping)
Description: Sexual activity without anal, vaginal, or oral contact or penetration
Risk of HIV Infection: Almost Impossible
Recommendation: While usually thought of as activity during the teenage years when penatrative sex may not be an option, this can be a very pleasurable and safe form of sexual activity. The main drawback is that it usually leads to a desire for penetrative sexual activity.

Abstinence
Description: No sexual activity at all
Risk of HIV Infection: Impossible
Recommendation: Although usually not talked about in black culture, abstienence is the only way to guarentee that a person will not become HIV infected. The other benefits include freedom from the fear of unplanned pregnancies and the often harsh emotional toll of sexual activity.

By responsibly adjusting their mental view of sexual activity and making behavioral changes, black women can save themselves form the AIDS epidemic.

NOTE: This blog post contains sexually explicit material and should not be read by minors without parental consent. This is real talk.

The State of the Black Woman

For the first few years after AIDS was first recorded in 1981, it was largely considered to be a gay man’s disease. This can be seen by the early names that were given to the disease: GRID (Gay-related immune deficiency) and 4H disease (named for the groups who seemed to be affected by it: homosexuals, Haitians, hemophiliacs, and heroin users). However, the medical community seen realized that AIDS was spreading into the heterosexual community and the CDC gave it the acronym by which we know it today: Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.

Recently, CNN released a report (http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/07/29/black.aids.report/index.html?iref=newssearch) stating that the rate of AIDS infection in among black Americans rivals that of some African nations. In fact, of the roughly 1 millions people infected with AIDS about 50% are black. Furthermore, if you’re a woman between the ages of 25 and 34, AIDS is the leading cause of death in your demographic. In Atlanta, black women make up 85% of all AIDS cases.

AIDS has transformed from a gay disease to a black woman’s disease. It is infecting black women in droves and will be responsible for many of their deaths.

What Attracts Black Women to AIDS?

I believe there are a few key reasons that black women are so susceptible to AIDS infection:

• Legacy Slave Mentality: During slavery in the United States, the most valuable contribution a black female slave could make to society was via the vagina between her legs and the womb in her stomach. Her vagina could be used to provide pleasure (often to white slave masters) and her womb could make more slaves. Women were often used to breed with multiple physically superior black men (”bucks”) to produce strong children who would become strong slaves. This tendency to have multiple sexual partners has, in many ways, been passed on to black women today.
• Poverty: For multiple reasons (the legacy of slavery and racism being a big one), many black people live in poverty. People in poverty cannot afford to do things that people with money do to entertain themselves: travel, play golf, watch an opera, etc. However, one form of entertainment that has a very low price tag is sexual activity. Couple this with my first point, and you have a lot of poor people having sex with multiple partners. Therefore, people in poverty (again, many of whom are black) have a higher rate of unplanned pregnancies as well as the other outcome of such behavior: sexually transmitted diseases.
• Strained Black Male/Female Relationships: The relationships between black men and women in this country has almost always been strained. Black families were often torn apart during slavery which seriously damaged the fundamental part of any ethnic group. Today, many black women are doing better than their black male counterparts in terms of education and income. This causes black men to often resent black women and compensate by being overly domineering. Therefore, black men may insist on sexual activity without condoms and threaten to leave the relationship if this demand is not men. Black women may feel that they have to give in to these demands in order to keep the man.
• Lack of Education: Along with poverty comes a lack of access to educational resources. Despite the plethora of information about HIV and AIDS, many black people know very little about it. In fact, some black people think that AIDS has been cured since Magic Johnson (who famously admitted to being infected) is still alive and looking well.

These factors (and many more) make black women extremely vulnerable to HIV infection. In a future blog post, I will suggest some solutions to reduce this vulnerability.

Miley Cyrus recently came under fire for yet another set of sexually charged photographs that leaked onto the internet. Previous pictures showed her pulling down her shirt to show her bra or pulling up her shirt to show her stomach. This set of pictures included one of her in a wet t-shirt with (apparantly) nothing on underneath it.

These pictures were taken in private and it is assumed that Miley never intended them to be made public. Obviously, such photographs contradict her public assertions that she has chosen a personal policy of abstinence and purity. When asked about a recent rumor that the 15 year old celebrity would appear nude in a film, Miley innocently responded that she isn’t even allowed to watch R-rated movies. Of course, this causes one to wonder what part of her parents’ rule book allows her to take and distribute wet t-shirt pictures of herself?

These proclamations of virginity and purity didn’t originate with Miley Cyrus. In fact, Britney Spears, Hilary Duff, Jessica Simpson, and the Jonas brothers all claim to be virgins and waiting until marriage to have sex. However, Britney was eventually outed as a sexually active hypocrite by Justin Timberlake. Her PR rep acknowledged that the “virginity” claim was just good marketing. It can probably be assumed that many of these young celebrities are using purity as a way to distinguish themselves and promote their brand identity instead of actually adhereing to it in their personal lives.

So, why don’t young black celebrities preach abstinence? Megastars like Rihanna, Chris Brown, and Serena Williams don’t talk about things like sexual purity or waiting until marriage. Despite the fact that young white celebrities have learned the positive publicity benefits of making the claim (even while privately getting their groove on), young black celebrities do not do so.

I think it is because black culture is often one of brutal honesty. Our culture is the one the originated the terms “keeping it real” and “real talk”. Our history has often been one of lies told to us by slave masters and by the government. After all, one of the most important black holidays is Juneteenth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juneteenth) which celebrates the arrival of the news that President Lincoln had freed slaves . . . nearly two and a half years earlier. Also, or 40 years, the federal government conducted syphilis experiments on poor black male sharecroppers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuskegee_Study_of_Untreated_Syphilis_in_the_Negro_Male) that deliberately kept them in ignorance about what was truly happening.

Young black celebrities understand that part of having street credibility is honesty. So, pretending to be a virgin would not help their brand with black people. Furthermore, if evidence of sexual activity by a supposed “virgin” came to light, then black fans would probably be far less forgiving than white fans would be. That is why lying about virginity and abstinence will always be a characteristic of young white celebrities instead of black ones.

Last night CNN aired a special about the black experience in America. While, based on what I read on Twitter, people had high hopes for the report, I think that many people came away depressed.

I think depression may be in order. You’ll have to excuse my “real talk”, but the state of blacks in this country is largely depressing. We disproportionately represent the diseased, unemployed, imprisioned, and under-educated demographics of this country. While these numbers are often inflated by the media, I think that  everyone can see our problems if they take an honest look at the facts.

I also think that some rejoicing is in order. This is especially true if Barack Obama (who, I have to admit, I have some problems with policy-wise) wins the election in November. With all the odds and barriers that black people have overcome, a lot of progress has been made.

So, if you’re black, congratulate yourself if:

• You can read this
• You are not incarcerated
• You are employed
• You have at least a high school diploma

Congratulate yourself, because there are many people, laws, and socio-economic barriers that have been erected (many that have stood for centuries), to keep you illiterate, imprisoned, jobless, and without a basic education. Congratulate yourself and then do something to help other black people who have not gotten as far as you.

My Social Thing Feed had a Girl’s Guide to Geek Guys in it. I thought it was interesting. I think the article panders to the stereotypical geeks. You know, immersed in fantasy worlds like Star Trek and RPG’s. While a lot of geeks are that way, I think that stereotype is what I call a “traditional geek”. “Today’s Geek” not only knows his Trek, he/she also does things like snow board and go to the gun range every now and then.

So, here is MY simple list of how to be a “Today’s Geek” (for guys and girls):

• Be Fit: There is no reason to be flabby and have pasty skin. You can hit the slopes, jog, kick box, etc.
• Have Style: You don’t have to look like you walked off the pages of GQ, but match your colors. Wear a nice fragrance/cologne. Keep your hair on point.
• Maintain Hygiene: Simply shower regularly, deorderize, brush your teeth, gargle.
• Travel: There is nothing more attractive than someone who has seen the world. Instead of having stories to tell of where you’ve been in World of Warcraft, have some stories about back packing through Europe, or walking along the Great Wall of China
• Maintain Eye Contact: This shows confidence. Also, everyone knows when you (guys) are checking out a girls boobs or when you (girls) are checking out a guys package.
• Know Your Nouns, Verbs, Adjectives, etc.: Be able to hold a conversation. About things OTHER than technology. Yeah, everyone knows you can fix any computer program or set up a killer web site. But, what do you think about the conflict between Taiwan and China? Are you up on politics? Be informed. Use your words!

You can play Dungeons and Dragons, X-Box/PS3/Wii, memorize the lines from all Star Trek universes, and all of that. But, if you follow the the guidelines above, you will not want for attention from the opposite sex.

I’m excited to make my first post on my brand spanking new WordPress 2.6 blog! It has been a good night of tech. I’ve installed Windows Mobile 6.1 on my Sprint Mogul, installed WordPress, and made my first blog comment. I can sleep well tonight!